ponder press

My studio has taken on the look of a warehouse. I love being surrounded by my books, beads and art supplies. Seriously, the room is messy, but I find so much comfort amid these things.
I also know that I need to stop amassing and start using. So in addition to going through all of the books on my shelves, I’m also committing to using up what I have and only hitting up my favorite bead suppliers when there’s something I have to have that is somehow, improbable as it may be, not in in my stash.

There is yarn to use. And paints. And beads. There are random bits and bobs. Much of it is tucked away in an organizational plan that made sense two years ago. So many things have migrated in that time. So, I hope to have many Christmas-morning-like surprises. I imagine I will.

I don’t have much to show today. How about these pendants featuring my brother’s artwork?

  
 When will he get back into his painting groove? Will he ever get back to that space. I hope so.

I should write more, but no. I need to put some exercises from this week’s book into action. And get an order out. And make some thank you cards. I kind of long for some lazy time, but I’m thankful for the people in my life who will get the cards and who place orders. No complaints here.

I finished Make it Might Ugly today. Look at me, reading (!!!) a whole book. Audiobooks have been the most practical book format for me lately, but I really appreciate when I find — or make — the time to read.

 

 
It feels good to have not only finished a book, but it’s great to have stuck to the commitment I made to myself to blog weekly about some kind of crafting book. It’s just the kind of challenge Kim suggests in the book. How nice to know I’m on the right track.

But first: In deciding on the title of this post I had to think about open letters and look into whether or not they’re ever complimentary. So what if they’re not! Writing a nice kind of open missive is exactly the kind of thing that I imagine Kim would suggest in one of her assignments to “flip” a project.

Back to the book …
No matter how often we — as makers and humans — come face-to-face with the idea that everyone deals with the demons of perfectionism, creative block, self-doubt, it’s still nice to hear about peers — fellow crafters — who have the same issues. So much of what we do is done (happily) alone, but the result is a sense of isolation. And when we check out someone’s website or Facebook page or Instagram posts, it’s easy to think that that person has it together. He or she knows what’s what and has banished creative demons for good. What I love most about Make it Mighty Ugly, is that Kim gives readers example after example of artists who, while still plagued by those demons, manages to stare them down and vanquish them even if it’s just one project at a time.

I don’t think that I suffer much from creative block. The bins of random resin, clay and wood pieces stashed in my work space serve as proof. 

 

 
Fear of failure, while regularly peering over my shoulder, is more of a pest than demon. And then there’s self-doubt. I can’t count the times that I’ve spent a day at the market or in my studio wondering why I keep doing what I’m doing. Those are always the times when I hitch my personal happiness to some kind of financial success or other external validations. While compliments and sales are nice, I do believe that I’d be making something no matter what. It’s when I really feel the giddiness of making something fun or different or downright cool, that I know why I give so much time to doing what I do.

I also liked the fact that the book plays up the importance of community. Sure I had friends who were willing slaves to their sewing machine or fondant, but I’ll never forget attending my first Art and Soul retreat and talking to a woman whose boyfriend came over one night to find her gluing Barbie shoes to a picture frame. Ahh … I’d found my people. I’m a bit of a wallflower/lurker type, but when the opportunity arises, or the need in me to ask a question or say something in general, bubbles up, I can’t be shut up. (Just ask the beau or my family.)

At the heart of this book, and shared in a number of voices within, is the message to just (please forgive me!) do it. Find your thing, your people, your schedule, the time, the supplies. Follow your bliss! Scratch that itch. Etc., etc. We all know the cliches. We all know what we need to do. And so, I should wrap this up and get to it.

The bottom line is that I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a nudge or a swift kick in the pants. Sometimes all we need is that reminder that we’re not alone in our doubts and fears and blocks. I also recommend it as a regular title that I’ll want to revisit. I’d marked so many pages with scrap paper bookmarks, that it looked like the book was slowly exploding. I even found, near the beginning, a tiny leaf that hid in my jeans cuff a few weeks ago. I saved it in the book, of course. I mean, you never know when you’ll want to submerge a leaf in resin. And that leaf needs to be flat. 

 

 
Actually, I want to stamp on it and then cover it with resin. Will it work or look good? Who knows. Is it worth trying? You bet!

  
I have always loved to read. I remember the joy of learning to read. I remember the librarian at my small Indiana town’s library letting me check out as many books as I could carry; I was not limited to the standard 10. When I harbored dreams of writing some kind of book, I read even more. You have to read good stuff to write good stuff, right?
And then I started knitting. That was my gateway craft. Crochet followed not too long afterward–once I found a left-handed teacher. From there I discovered the fun of acrylic image transfers, then working with resin, then basic jewelry skills, then polymer clay and then and then and then … The one thing I haven’t tried to tackle, or the dream I’ve abandoned, is using a sewing machine. And, after years of wanting to sew, I’ve given up that dream.
Combine my love of books with my dabbling in jewelry making, painting, collaging and more, and my shelves are bursting. I have books about creating time for art. I have books about techniques. I have books I bet I don’t even know I have. 

  All that crafting cut into reading time, which in turn led me to an appreciation for audio books that I never knew I had. Still, books like shiny bead, call to me and both are stockpiled for a rainy day or the time when I win the lottery and have way more free time than I do now.

  
And so, while driving to work one day last week, I was thinking about the books languishing on my shelves. And I wanted some kind of way to track them, to know if I really need them or if it’s time to help some of them find a new home, one full of love and appreciation for what that title has to offer.
So begins my attempt to give a week or two to each book. Maybe I’ll try some projects. Maybe I’ll see what advice I can adopt. As I see it, it’s a way to learn new things, maybe weed out my collection, maybe say goodbye to other craft dreams and, most appealing of all, have blog topics that don’t really focus on me.
While I have no intention of going through my books category by category, I do think that Kim Piper Werker’s Mighty Ugly is a great place to start.

 It has been on my to-read list for ages. And while I find myself pretty productive, I do plenty of battle with the demons of self-doubt and fear of failure. Because I know that for anyone who makes anything, or, really, is alive, we’re all dealing with self-doubt, perfectionism, creative block, procrastination and fear of failure.
I like that way that she recommends Ted(x) talks, includes inspiring bits of insight and presents readers with real-life examples from makers and crafters. Maybe what I’m most responding to is seeing myself in the her words and others. Or, better said, it’s the knowing that I really am not alone and that dealing with these demons is universal. I can sit around and worry that I’m a fraud, or I can keep on keeping on, making things to the best of my ability and understanding that my stuff will appeal to some and not to others. Wait, is it even about what others think? No, I think it’s about scratching that creative itch. If I approach it each time with honesty, that’s all I can do
I can see that I’ll need to revisit this book, may often, and know that there won’t be a quick fix.
So far I’ve only finished the first part. At the beginning of part 2, there’s an assignment to make a collage. The goal is show that collage next week and perhaps some other projects.
I’d love to know what kind of experiences others have had dealing with the demons that keep you from creating. Which one gives you the most trouble? How do you break through? Where do you turn for advice or wisdom for upping your creativity?
OK, I think I should go tackle that collage. And, go grumble to myself about how despite my hopes, this is too much about me.

It’s my first Saturday off from the market this month. Only two months left. They tend to be the slowest two months for me, so I’m staring down decisions attending vs. working on my site/online store. 

I love being there and chatting with my neighbors. However, it was nice to sleep in (until 6) this morning. My beau is doing his thing, and I’m tending to things that I need to do. 

While my evenings have passed by in a blur, I am pleased with these two projects that I finished. The jellyfish pendant is for a friend’s birthday. The blue piece was a commission for one of my sister-in-law’s friends. I’m kind of mad at myself for taking so long to make the kind of chains I made for them. But, better late than never. 

   
Now I can get on with things I want to make. Not only are beading projects in the agenda, but so is playing with watercolor paints, fleshing out my plan of attack for making sure I make regular posts and so much more. Thank goodness it’s a cool, windy, rainy day –perfect for staying in and getting stuff done.