From off the rails to back on track

I’ll admit it: I still want to knit more than anything else. Sleep might be a close second behind the desire to knit. (I worry that the desire to sleep might read like depression, but that’s not at all the case. Think hibernation.)
Luckily I’ve been able to shake off the laziness and finish two more journals for Saturday’s show. I’ve also poured resin for some pendants. (There were nearly no bubbles in the Gedeo resin. My Ice Resin got really dark. and while it’s supposed to be usable, white backgrounds now have an antiqued look.) I’ve even prepped some packaging for better display. (Why did it take me so long to step up how my necklaces are presented?!)

However, that rambling aside, it’s Thursday, and I know I should have some kind of book report. Where did those days of leafing through books and then breaking out paints or beading supplies go? Taken over by the knitting gods? Could be. Or maybe my block stems from the fact that I knew I wanted to dig into Tara Swiger’s Market Yourself. Opening that book meant that I had to do what feels like work rather than play.
I have forever said that I don’t like having to sell myself. Not in my day job, not in my side gig. I think, in both cases, that my work speaks for itself. If people can’t see that or don’t want to take the time to figure it out, it’s not my problem. But, especially for the Ponder Press stuff, I need to market what I do. Otherwise, my world will never be bigger than the market or the handful of shows I do in November and December. And, these posts will be seen by my beau, my mom and one or two friends.
I know what I need to do. And I know why I need to do it. So, why is it so ridiculously difficult?
Am I, like so many others, afraid of being exposed as a fraud? I know all of the counterarguments. I really do.
•I need to do it as long as it makes me happy and I do it all in truth.
•There’s plenty of room in this world for people to make art/jewelry/stuff. If not there would only be a handful of artists. Full stop.
•Why belittle what I make? Isn’t that insulting to my customers?
This post feels whiny and self-serving. Strike that, I’ll let it serve as an online journal entry. Let’s just say that I’m working through my stuff.
And, I’ll keep working on the book. I’m less than six pages in, and I already know one more thing I can do to help pretty up how stuff looks on my table and help to keep my business name in mind.
I stopped at the first quiz in the quiz; it’s something to the effect of what makes you “You.” ACK! My neuroses?
I think this calls for admiring the new Rubber Moon stamps I bought to make my displays more fun. I must breathe deep and breathe in these sentiments.

 I’d love to hear about your struggles with self doubt. Rest assured, you’re not in this alone.

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